Spatulas, Mono, And Bad Advice
by Raula
Summary: "Back, Back! You scoundrel! Thy unwilling urine shall not pass through my pristine garbage disposal!"   SEQUEL to "Gameboys, Kissing, And Awkward Conversations..."  The Madness ensues...And I still own Nothing;


WARNING: THIS IS A SEQUEL! Do not attempt to read unless you have read the first one "Gameboys, Kissing, and Awkward Conversations." Or else You will seriously not get this story….Well? Why are you still here? Go! READ! ENJOY!:)

"**C'mon, Alec…"**

"**No, Magnus."**

"**But it's almost my Birthday!" Stomping his foot determinedly, Magnus Bane waved the jewel encrusted whisk in his hand around.**

"**Didn't you have a birthday party, like, three weeks ago?"**

"**Yeah…so?"**

**Alec Lightwood rolled his eyes at the tall warlock and continued reading his novel from his warm spot on Magnus's new sparkly green and pink watermelon couch. **

**Magnus huffed and strutted haughtily over to the blue-eyed Shadow Hunter. Alec looked up at his pouting boyfriend, but before Alec could think how extremely and undeniable attractive the curve of his magical boyfriend's moist, soft, talented lips were… Magnus's door exploded open; "BOOM, SMACK!" **

**And guess who stood on the other side…you guessed it. The golden-haired Wonder boy himself, Jace Lightwood. Alec's fellow Shadow-Hunter, adopted brother, and the annoyance that kept Magnus and Alec from a hot steamy afternoon make out session. Like Alec, Jace had a lean, muscled, Rune-covered body, but that's where the resemblance ended. Magnus's beloved Alec had gorgeous blue crystal eyes and black licorice locks that created Magnus's favorite color combination. Jace had a dark blond, wavy mane with honey- golden eyes to match. Alec once told Magnus that he thought that Jace looked kind of like that lion they saw on their vacation to Africa… Magnus once told Alec that he thought Jace looked kind of like that donkey's posterior regions after Magnus fed it that burrito on their vacation to India.**

"**Not again…" Magnus groaned, staring at his new,**_** imported**_**, posh door; the hinges now frayed and creaking off the wall. **

"**I thought that was locked," Alec raised an eyebrow, looking over at the handsome boy/almost man-thing.**

"**It was," Jace grinned and headed over to Magnus's fridge for a snack. Seeing where Jace was heading, Magnus quickly glided over to his sink, exchanging his whisk for a spatula, and holding the flipping-device out in front of him, warding Jace away from his pure and unsoiled sink.**

"**Back, Back! You scoundrel! Thy unwilling urine shall not pass through my pristine garbage disposal!" Magnus brandished the spatula in front of Jace. Jace rolled his eyes and continued to rummage through Magnus's Refrigerator, throwing a couple of mangoes over his shoulder, mumbling something about metaphors and "just an expression." Alec swallowed his chuckle and exchanged it for one of his rare smiles.**

"**Magnus you're so…extraordinary." Alec finally decided that, that would be the word to describe Magnus in these kinds of situations.**

"**Don't you forget it," Magnus snuck one last suspicious glance at Jace, before hooking the spatula in his belt loop and jumping over to the spot next to Alec. **

"**So my little yummy dictionary…" Magnus purred, leaning towards Alec, causing him to shiver "do you have any words you want to use to describe…this…" There was probably a million words that Alec could have used to describe the way Magnus kissed him, but nothing could compare to the real feeling of Magnus lips brushing against his, or the small pleasant shiver that ran up his spine and tickled his nose, or the lovely warmth that spread over his entire body and flushed his cheeks, or the urge to entangle his calloused fingers in Magnus's spiky hair and to sink into him completely, or the incredible taste of- **

"**Ewww…talk about your serious chances of Mono." Jace wrinkled his nose, taking a loud slurp of a smoothie/sludge in a cup he found in the back of Magnus's fridge. **

**Alec quickly broke off from Magnus, much to the dismay of the green-eyed Warlock. Magnus glared at the cretin, he had almost forgotten that Jace had been in **_**his**_** kitchen. **

"**Are you baking a cake?" Jace asked, now noticing the eggs, flower, measuring cups and other various sorts of ingredients and bowls spread out neatly across the kitchen counter.**

"**Yes, **_**we**_** are" Magnus said giving Alec a pointed look. **

"**Magnus, I-" **

"**No buts," Magnus stood up and tapped his foot, leering down on Alec "you said that if I didn't make you go to the Couples Monthly Cooking class, that you and I would spend some quality time and bake something special ourselves, **_**remember**_**?"**

**Jace grimaced. "**_**Alec**_** baking a**_** cake**_**? Okay I'm outta here" But Jace stayed to see how this argument would end for his entertainment. **

"**Can't we just make out?" Alec asked tactlessly.**

"**Okay, now I'm really getting out of here." Jace said, his face scrunched up, making his way towards the door. **

**Magnus stopped him "Jace, **_**stay**_**." He commanded like he was talking to an ill-trained puppy.**

**Jace, thrown off at Magnus wanting him to stay, did as he was told.**

"_**Magnus, "**_**Alec groaned. "Please leave Jace out of this."**

"**Someone needs to see how difficult you're being." Magnus huffed.**

"**Whoa, wait a second" Alec shut his book "suddenly**_** I'm**_** the difficult one."**

"**Hey, guys, let's just-"**

"**Yes," Magnus cut Jace off, looking straight at Alec "you are." **

"**So let me get this straight, I don't want to do what you want to do, and suddenly I'm being **_**difficult**_**." Alec said with an unbelievable expression.**

"**No, it's just whenever I want to do something **_**together**_**, you want to be **_**alone**_**." Magnus grounded out between his teeth.**

"**Guys, I don't feel comfortable…"**

"**See Alec! "Magnus pointed to the awkwardly shifting Shadow Hunter "Our fighting is making Jace uncomfortable!"**

"**I just-" **

**Magnus interpolated " He already has enough problems of his own…maybe this is the reason why he has problems with pee-"**

"**FOR THE LAST FREAKING TIME MAGNUS! I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEEING IN PUBLIC!" Jace screamed. "WOULD YOU STOP BRINGING IT UP!"**

**Magnus huffed and looked at Alec "See, even **_**Jace**_** knows how to communicate his feelings." **

**Alec snorted. **

"**Well what's **_**that**_** suppose to mean?"**

"**What's, **_**what **_**suppose to mean?"**

"**WOULD YOU TWO SHUTUP!" Jace screamed again "Magnus get off Alec's freaking back, it isn't his fault he can't express his feelings-Shadow Hunters are made that way." **

**Jace turned to Alec "Alec-I never thought I'd be saying this-but spend more time with Magnus, invite him over once in awhile, he's…one of the best things…" Jace resisted the urge to choke himself "that's happened…to you in a long time." Jace huffed, then going back to his usual self said "so make up, make out, and bake that stupid cake already." **

**The couple stood shocked while Jace grumbled and headed to find a bathroom. That smoothie/sludge was apparently not going down without a fight.**

"**Well that was…unexpected." Alec said after a moment of silence.**

"**Yes, unexpected," Magnus walked towards Alec "but very true." Magnus lifted his hand and stroked Alec's face. **

**Alec leaned into the touch, kissing Magnus's fingers as they caressed his lips. Magnus bent down and kissed Alec's nose, chuckling when it crinkled up.**

**Though neither of them said it, they both knew they had been forgiven.**

"**Come on, let's go bake that cake." Alec smiled.**

"**YES, VICTORY!" Magnus undid the spatula from his belt loop, grabbed Alec's arm, and charged into the kitchen, waving the spatula like a maniac. "Henceforth I, Magnus Bane, declare that this cake will be the best cake anyone shall ever live to eat."**

**30 Minutes Later…**

**Magnus looked at his apartment building burning to the ground and gave a low whistle. "When you said you didn't know how to use a microwave…"**

"**Magnus, I am so sorry, I'll pay for it I swear, I'll-" Alec babbled franticly. **

**Magnus waved it off "its okay, I was thinking about redoing the walls anyway…"**

"**WHAT?" Alec yelled, giving Magnus an incredulous look "Magnus by time they put the fire out," Alec pointed to the Mundane firemen, who were currently running around in a frenzy of water and screams, while ash and smoke continued to pour out of the building along with the crimson flames that swallowed it up. "There won't BE any walls to REDO!" **

"**What? Do you **_**want**_** me to be angry with you, Alexander?" Magnus said, an amused smile forming, he bent down to scratch a very ticked off Chairman Meow.**

"**Well, it'd definitely make more sense than you being perfectly fine with me BURNING DOWN YOUR HOUSE!" **

"**Oh Alexander, when has our relationship ever made sense?" Magnus raised his hand to his forehead dramatically. **

"**MAGNUS! This is SERIOUS!"**

"**Oh alright, what do want me to do?"**

"**I want you to be furious with me, I want there to be some justice for what I've-" Alec was cut off from a surprising sting on his rear-end. "Ow!"**

"**Satisfied?" "Magnus grinned evilly, waving his fingers that were now tingling with blue electric sparks.**

"**I guess…" Alec rubbed his back-end and winced.**

"**Anyway, it's not your fault; I should have given you a proper lesson on the dangerous history of microwaves." Magnus shook his head ashamed, but then perked up, "but it was mainly Jace's fault for making us play nice and bake a cake."**

"**Ha-ha, yeah…" Alec chuckled at Magnus's antics, but then frowned "wait a minute…"**

**A minute went by.**

**Magnus and Alec looked at each other, then at the burning building, then at each other, then as realization hit both of them, screamed:**

"**JACE!" **

**Please Review;) **


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